Don't Call It A Comeback
So, I was sitting at a wedding a few months back. My mind started to wonder as the power ballads of the ‘90s drowned out any chance of conversation I might be able to have. I don’t know where the idea came from or why but I had a personal moment that shocked me like I was hit by lightening. I decided right then and there that I was not done fighting. I decided that I was going to do it one more time.
Of course, the first thing I did was post this on facebook.
Ok, lets put some perspective on this. I am 39 years old, turning 40 in March. I haven’t fought since I was 34 and that was a weird one off that happened 3 years after my previous fight. So, it is clear that I have not been active for quite a while. I recently celebrated my 1 year anniversary of being married and I have an infant son. I am running the family business along with my gym, Killer B Combat Sports academy in Oakhurst, plus I am training a team of fighters.
With all the above said, how and why would I even contemplate this undertaking? How is easy. After all the years of doing this I know how to get myself into fighting shape and sharpen the skills pretty quickly. I am talking about 3 to 5 rounds of Muay Thai, I can do this in my sleep. The why is another story.
Why do this? Because I F&cking want to! I live my life by my own terms. I don’t let the ideas of others get in the way of what I believe to be true. This is my life to live, not anybody else’s. Sometimes you have to do something a little nutty to remind yourself you are still alive.
Age is nothing but an idea and numbers. I don’t know what 40 is supposed to feel like but it doesn’t feel much different than any other time in my life. Yes, my body has issues from 15 plus years of competing then another 15 or more years of holding pads and sparring. We all have issues, mine are nothing to stop me from doing this.
So, I am looking for an event close to my 40th. If my body holds up and everything works out, I will get back in the ring for 1 more fisticuff. Hopefully I can carve out a block of time immediately after so I can fly to Vegas with my Wife, friends and family to party until I am so hung over I want to die.
One of my fighters asked me if I was looking to fight a bum? I laughed cause I don’t want a bum, I want a guy with skills that will give me a good fight. I want my shins to get battered, my face to bleed, and a headache. Yes, I am a little nuts. I want a fight, I don’t care about victory as much as leaving what I have left in the ring so I can go forward free of the fight bug.
I have always said that fighting answers a lot of questions and lets you know who you really are. I just want to remember who I am and let my son know that his Dad was a fighter once.
I know I am never going to win a championship and my real time as a pro is done. I am fine with that. I think I am a better coach than a fighter is because I care about my guys winning more then I ever cared about myself. Fighting for me has always been a personal test. Don’t get me wrong, I have been hungry for gold as much as the next guy but not obsessed enough to actually achieve it. I have never been OK with losing but I have always judged myself fairly. If I put it all on the line and the better man won, I could sleep that night. If I won or lost without putting my best effort forward, I would seriously getpissed at myself and lose sleep for months.
So, I am not going into this looking to lose but the only thing I really do care is that I leave it all in the ring and have no questions about myself after. If I do lose, I better need stitches and have a bad headache :) With what I am brining, I doubt losing is even a question. Yes, I am still a confident prick.