"Because you can" is not a reason

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Think about how many things you do because you think you can get away with it. How many corners do we cut because we can get away with it but we know it is the wrong thing to do? How many excuses have we made to justify these actions? Nobody is innocent, we all have done it.

All relationships come with commitments. Some are professional where we are being paid to do a job. Others are personal where we have to keep a balance to maintain the relationship. Once we start to take more than we give, we are not living up to our commitments. In time, this will erode the relationship and lead to failure.

Chronic being late, bad hygiene, lack of attention to detail, or a selfish focus are all examples of ways in which we lose our focus start doing so many things we shouldn’t do. This is where we are taking actions from an entitled position. This is where we self justify things that should never even be in question. This is when the value has diminished to a point where the results do not fit the cost.

Just because a boss or client does not complain about your choices does not mean your choices are ok. Your choices are being tolerated for now but this does not make them right or just. You can take advantage or you can adukt the uck up and start doing things as you agreed to in the beginning and over deliver.

I have suffered fatigue so many times within a relationship. I lost my drive to over deliver and started to phone it in. Some people allowed me to recover and get back on track while others rightfully left me behind to go find somebody more committed. I used to blame these people for not giving me a chance, or for being to “needy”. The truth was that I was lacking, not them, and I deserved the outcome I got.

If you really care about people and you want to maintain positive relationships personally or professionally, do what you know needs to be done, not what you think you can get away with. Stop cutting corners and justifying it with bullshit. Stop taking advantage as if you deserve it? Who the fuck are you anyway? Nobody owes any of us “just because”. People owe you for what you agreed to deliver.

Clean yourself up, show up on time, and give people your full attention. This is how you maintain long term successful relationships. I didn’t always get this, I was young, arrogant, entitled, and stupid. Learn from my mistakes and save yourself the losses that come from this. Do the right thing as much as possible, and recognize that just because you can do something, does not make it the right thing to do.

Brian Wright