We all define success differently. I don’t think there are too many people that define their success by ending up alone? Having people to share your success with requires that the process in which you climb, lifts some people along the way. You can’t have a happy ending to your climb if it is always on the backs of others.
I have always recognized that no matter what place in the social and economic hierarchy of the world, there has always been someone not as far along as myself. Some of these people have asked for help while others want to go it alone. When I was younger, I thought being ahead was an advantage I couldn’t jeopardize by helping others who may one day be my equal or better. I looked at these people as weak and I looked at that weakness as my advantage.
In time I lost many people that I thought owe me loyalty. I lost people that I thought were friends. I also missed many opportunities to create relationships that would have really helped me over the years. In my arrogance and fear, I really hurt myself by not reaching down and helping some people up. I didn’t understand the currency of mutually beneficial trades and thought I deserved more than others for just being who I was. I was truly a fool and lost.
Luckily, I have had some pain and some joy. I have found the perfect partner in my wife who afforded me the gift of being a father. I have grown up and broken down most of the bad ideas that held me back to understand that success is more about giving than anything. The more I give, the more I get in return. As a coach, the athlete will always make more, but I can also work with more than 1 athlete and my career is much longer than the average athlete. As a person, I have learned the joy of helping people achieve great things and that has become my great thing.
Yes, you run the risk of helping someone who may surpass you. Yes, someone may not appreciate your efforts and do nothing of value in return for your efforts. Yes, you could get hurt. BUT you can also do the right thing, sleep well knowing you did it, and have amazing relationships because of it. If you do the right thing enough, the right people take notice. These people work with you to better all of us and elevate our status as theirs rises. If you do it right, there is a mutually beneficial trade in play.
Stop living in fear of other people’s success. Stop thinking you are less because someone else has done more. Help as many as you can do and be more. It will make you great and it will afford you many of the things you have not been able to achieve. Reach down and lift the good people below you up. Everyone will be better for it.
Brian Wright