Some people need really bad things to happen before they give themselves permission to do the right thing. These are the people that have brainwashed themselves into thinking they are above the rest of us. These are the people that keep making up excuses as to why it is ok for them to do the wrong thing, while viciously critiquing you when you stumble or fail. But when something really bad happens, that kind of bad you can’t handle alone, they come back asking nicely for help. Sadly, I know too many people like this.
The most painful part of these types of people is that they will more then likely go back to being the selfish pricks they were before once they use you to get passed the issue at hand. This puts you in a position where it gets harder and harder to take the daily behavior, and really hard to be the person to lean on when it gets rough. You feel like you are turning against your good nature, but you are doing what you have to do to break the cycle and save your sanity.
You have to figure out how to keep the mean and the fucked up from dragging you down to their level. You have to stay strongly grounded within who you are and separate yourself from those that are doing everything they can to change you or knock you off course. If you are a decent human, you will struggle because people in need are meant to be helped. But people in need that are going to break you, are not in need of your help, they just want to break you because that is what they do.
Knowing who you are is paramount, knowing who somebody else is matters too. You have to be real about people, you can’t just help because you have had proximity for a long time. Being physically close does not make a relationship. So, you may have a close “friend” or family member putting you thru all of this. Just because they have a familiar title does not make them special and deserving of self sacrifice you may never recover from.
There comes a time in every person’s life where they have to let go of the past pattern and baggage. We collect people as much as we collect things. Long term proximity gets us into patterns with people that make us feel like family but you have to make sure the balance is there that makes real family what it is. If it’s not, you have to repair it, if possible, or eject it if not. Yes, you may have to tell a close relative, a mom or dad, a brother or sister, a long term friend… go figure your shit out on your own because you are fucking mine up.
It is harsh to kick a person out of your life but it is for the best. Fucked up people need to figure their shit out. If you are trying to maintain sanity, you can’t afford to allow people to bring you down to their level. You have to embrace the positive people, processes, and things in your life and move forward. Maybe the fucked up can figure it all out and come back or they won’t because they can’t. That is on them, not you. We are all responsible for each other but we can’t take care of others if we wreck ourselves. Some people can’t be saved by you, they have to save themselves.
Don’t be complacent and allow the familiar to fuck up your flow. You have to do your thing and do positive work. Never lose sight of the good you can do because 1 fucked up person is trying to monopolize your time for their issues.