Nobody forced you to do anything. Even if you have a gun to your head, you are making the decision. I didn’t force you onto the mat, you stepped up of your own free will. In fcat, you paid me for the opportunity to do this. Why would you not try?
I have no 1 person in mind here. If you think this is about you, than it is, even tho it isn’t.
There is a gym member in every school on the planet that has paid, shown up, and never really listens to what the instructor says. We all know this person and they all pretty much drive us nuts. As a coach, I hope they get over their damage and eventually get it, most of the other students just want to break this person and hope they never show up again.
I know why these people exist but I don’t. Some people can’t humble themselves in the face of skills they don’t have or physical things they can’t do. Some people don’t want to actually do anything, they just want to be able to say they are part of it. Other people trained somewhere else and think they know better. The archetypes can go on and on. The key to it all is a fear. They all are afraid to be viewed as something they really are or something they never want to be.
There are gyms that kick these people out. I have done it. I don’t do it often, only when safety becomes an issue. I am not going to have anyone suffer for your damage. I do my best to break down defenses and try to show the way to find success within our community. The key is not focusing so much on the problem people that those that are fully invested don’t get the attention they have earned. Can’t fix everyone and not everyone has earned your attention if you are the coach. FYI – paying a fee does not fully buy attention. You have to pay to play but how you play is what earns the coach’s time.
Something I find works all the way around is not getting mad. I do my best to feel bad for people that have personal issues that get in the way of their success. I have empathy for them, not necessarily sympathy. I stress this with everyone I work with. I like to ground my experienced people with the idea that they were once beginners too. We all have to give people a chance, what they do with the chance is how we figure out the way to proceed.
We all make choices, you don’t have to be on the mat with me. If you choose to be there, know your place and earn your spot.
Brian Wright