No matter how many times you say how confident, how good, how great, how whatever you want to think you are… the only real way to build confidence is to eliminate doubt by actually doing great things. Telling yourself you are something you are not will be hard to fully accept. But, if you tell yourself you will be something greater due to the continuation of what you have done and are doing, that is different. Telling yourself you will quit eating tomorrow while you are stuffing your face today is just an excuse to keep stuffing your face today. Saying you will be the best at something you have never done more than watch is not realistic.
It has been proven by people smarter than myself, with degrees to back it up, studies, papers, etc… none of which I have a link to or can remember the names of because I have brain damage from years of doing – that people who receive positive encouragement in developmental years do better than people who did not. This proves that positive words do matter. The thing is, the words really matter much more when they come from other people.
By all means, say good things to yourself if nobody else around you will. Don’t wallow in the negativity you may be surrounded by. But also appreciate that the positive words you can give a child gives them a big part of what they need to make the good decisions in life. Having confidence due to the belief others show in you allows you to act more boldly and to believe more in yourself than the alternative.
The people you surround yourself with matters. You don’t need people to say flowery nonsense to make you feel good, you need honest people that see the good in you and you the good in them. Negative people that don’t celebrate the positive will just bring you down and plant the seed of doubt in the things you do.
What do you do now? Maybe you didn’t grow up in the most positive space. Maybe you have negative people around you. It is not too late to change things up and start moving towards a space that is much more in line with what creates success and happiness. You have to know who you are and you have to find people that align with your interests. You need to find those that find your success a piece of their own and allow you the same sense of satisfaction.
No matter what you think, you are never alone. No matter how different somebody said you are, there is a group of people out there that subscribe to the same things. We are humans, which means we are herd animals. We thrive in groups. No more happy talk with no change. Go find your group and accept who you are so you can become who you know you should be.
Brian Wright